Jack Canfield, célèbre auteur-conférencier américain, a dit : "Il n’y a qu’une seule personne responsable de la qualité de l’existence que vous menez. Et cette personne, c’est vous". Est-ce votre cas ?
En savoir plus sur https://www.lesechos.fr/idees-debats/cercle/cercle-171875-etes-vous-lentrepreneure-de-votre-vie-2101666.php#dmLxUD07MeB04h6y.99
#EntrepreneurdemaVie #EntreprendremaVie #WiseMind #LesEchos
“It’s not the chatter of people around us that is the most powerful distractor, but rather the chatter of our own minds". Daniel Goleman
>>>>> How aware are you of your own mental chatter?
>>>>> What is your strategy to deal with your mental chatter?
This is how mindfulness can help you:
it helps you by strenghtening your meta-awareness = the attention of attention itself.
The more and more you practice mindfulness (and the key condition is to practice it consistently):
*** the more and more you will be able to notice if you are paying attention to your present moment experience or your thoughts,
*** the easier it will be to redirect your attention to what you are doing, seeing, smelling, listening, tasting in the now,
*** the easier it will be for you to maintain your attention there for a longer time.
If you need help with that, I can help you with my online mindfulness coaching program. Just drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
More information: www.nadegeesteban.com
🇨🇵️ "Ce n'est pas le bavardage autour de nous qui nous distrait, c'est le bavardage dans notre propre tête" Daniel Goleman
One of the most important shift that I had in my life is this one... MY LIFE IS MY ART*. And I'm the only one who has the power to make it real.
How does it look like in my daily life?
💡By committing to always be myself and not what others expect me to be
💡By adopting a growth mindset and constantly learning more and more about myself: my desires, my needs, my talents
💡By living more mindfully: being aware of my behaviors, paying attention to my words, checking my thoughts, learning from my feelings, listening to my body, trusting my intuition, being more present and attuned to what is going on inside me and around me
finding a way to deal with my fears, because yes there are always there *
💡By living more intentionally: waking up in the morning and having a meaningful mission in my Life,
💡By nurturing and unleashing my creativity and my uniqueness
💡By adopting positive and helpful attitudes in my life
💡By replacing limiting beliefs by empowering ones
💡By implementing an empowering habits system
I can tell you "living your life by design" is not the easiest journey, as most people around you are still living their life by default... but I found this is the most rewarding and empowering one.
With Love 💖
What about you?
Are you ready to...
... take full responsibility of your life and create the life of your dream?
... reinvent a life on your own terms?
... live your life by Design and not by default?
✨A life filled with love, joy and happiness
✨A life which is meaningful
✨A life full of inspiration and passion
✨A life where you can authentically and freely express who you are
✨A life where you can overcome courageously and fearlessly any obstacles
If you were to design this life from scratch...
... what would it look like ?
... how would you feel?
Well, this life can be yours! And I can help you to get there with my online coaching program "A life by design".
For more information, please go to my website: www.nadegeesteban.comor just email me at email@example.com
#ALifeByDesign #BecometheEntrepreneurofyourLife #WiseMind#NadegeEsteban
* from the quote "Your Life is your Art" by Keri Smith
Remember: You don't have to believe everything that you think... You are not your thoughts...
-> If you have some trouble in dealing with your busy mind, mindfulness may be the right solution for you. A mindfulness practice can help you to be aware of your "mind chatter", to detach yourself from your thoughts and watch them for what they are: a mental product.
🗼Journée de formation «Préparation mentale et pleine conscience» intéressante organisée par la Société Française de Psychologie du Sport SFPS , et animée par Jean Fournier et Daphné Laurin-Landry, 3 mai 2017
🗽Interesting training session about "Mental preparation and mindfulness" organized by the French Society of Sport Psychology and lead by Jean Fournier and Daphné Laurin-Landry.
I don’t consider emotions like anger, sadness, anxiety as negative.
They are like a feedback loop. They carry an information for you: they help you to grow by knowing yourself better (your needs, your desires, your perception of yourself and the world around you), identifying what needs to be changed or healed.
What is negative is to hold them inside. By burying them inside, they will just trigger blockages in your life and come back later and stronger. You give them power over you.
What is negative is to express them in an inappropriate way (in a violent way for example).
-> Instead, learn to:
* honor them,
* identify them,
* accept them,
* feel them,
* learn from them,
* express them in an appropriate way
* and then let them go.
And this is what, every day, mindfulness helps me with. It helps me to befriend my emotions. If you want to know more about how mindfulness can help you deal with your emotions, PM me.
Mindfulness is Heartfulness...
Mindfulness is not only "simply" paying attention; it is paying attention to yourself, others and your environnement with specific qualities: kindness, warmth, friendliness, openess, curiosity, non-judgement etc...
Today's mindfulness practice is about dance, dance, dance!!
One of my favorite.....
How do I do that?
I choose my favorite music songs. It can be a rythmic one or not... I personnally love to do it on the opera Carmen by the French composer Georges Bizet, especially Habanera ("L'Amour est un oiseau rebelle")...
and then I just dance! dance as if nobody is watching (well, this is the case because I do it at home when the kids are at school!), just let the flow of the movement following the music... it is a free dancing... no judgement, just paying attention to how you feel, think in that moment...
And I love to have my daily little "ecstatic dance"... at least! It makes me feel so reenergized after that.
So who's in?? :)
Just try it and share your thoughts below....
And by switching on your senses, you bring yourself back to the present moment and step out of the autopilot. It will also help you to step back from your mind chatter...
so stop whatever you are doing and simply pay attention to what you can see around you.... hear (inside and outside you).... smell .... taste (even if you are not eating, it can be whatever taste you can notice in your mouth... I am not giving you an excuse to eat a piece of chocolate ;) ).... touch.... right now
******** If you find it difficult to:
- stay focused on a task at work or more generally in your life
- deal with your mind chatter
- savour the present moment
- and many other things (like being in touch with your body, or your emotions, dealing with your stress, getting a clear, creative and calm mind etc...),
I can help you with my online coaching program.
My last article for the HuffingtonPost: http://huff.to/2ogYB9J
Recently, I received a comment from a follower on Facebook that says: “I can never decide what to focus on during my meditation”. I felt I needed to share with you my experience on this.
I like to practice different types of meditation (mindfulness, mantra-based, chakra meditation, loving-kindness…). Every day, I practice at least one mindfulness meditation. And then, during the day, the one I choose will depend on how I feel at that moment or what my needs are at that particular time. I just take the time to tune in before starting.
Let’s say for example, I am doing some creative tasks (like writing an article) and my mind is all over the place. I will choose to center myself with a mindful breathing meditation by either focusing on my breath from the time it comes inside my nose to the time it goes out of my nose. If I feel tense around the neck area, I will focus my attention on that particular part of my body with an open, curious and compassionate mind, and then “breathe into it”. Before meeting my students, I like to do a loving-kindness meditation to radiate even more some love energy and remind me of my mission. Whatever meditation I choose, I still like to do it in a mindful way which is being aware of my thoughts, feelings, and body sensations in the present moment.
For my mindfulness meditation, I bring my attention to a focal point. It can be my breath, my whole body or only a specific part of my body (like one of my hand), a music, my emotions, my thoughts, or just whatever is in the present moment. Whatever I choose to focus on, whenever I notice that my mind wanders (and of course it wanders, don’t expect it not to wanders!), I bring my attention back to my focused point.
How to choose which type of meditation is right for you?
I do believe that there is not one meditation that is better than another. Since we are all unique, we will resonate differently with all the types of meditation. I would suggest you to experiment for few days a particular practice, then another one (if you want to) and “see” for yourself which one fits you best. You are the only one who can know what is best for you. Once you know, stick to one, build the habit and then you may add – or not - the second type of meditation later on.
How to choose what to focus on during my meditation?
There are plenty of things you can focus on during your meditation. I have already shared with you some ideas above. It can also be an inspiring quote, a painting, your garden, your tea or chocolate (a square of chocolate not the whole bar :) ), any objects etc… Lastly, you can also decide not to choose to focus on something specific and just be aware of whatever arises in the present moment. It may be a thought then a sound, then your breath, then a physical sensation and so on… Just stay in the present moment.
If you still struggle to find what you can focus on, ask yourself: Why is it so difficult for you to decide what to focus on during your meditation? And see what comes up…
Love and Smiles,
So true! It is a gift for others and for our world... so what do you do to nurture your own development? And if you don't, why not and what are you waiting for?
For me, it is crucial to always discover, explore, experiment, learn new things and grow, so that everyday I can be a better version of myself. I see it not as a chore but more as a game that I like to play with me (I'm quite playful). It is part of my "self-coaching system":
Each trimester I decide what I would like to work on. I write it in my learning plan. And everytime I read an interesting article on Internet, I register it into my "learning plan" file. The stuffs I learn about are not necessarily work-related. It can be related to family, social relationships, spirituality, love life, health and so on. Defining some themes helps me to be more focused. Having some goals for each themes helps to know exactly what I am looking for as results.
What about you? How do "nurture your own development"? Do you have a specific system? What are the themes you are working on right now? Please share below!
1. Mindfulness is about being present in the present moment. It may sound weird but how many times are you really in the present moment? And here I’m not only talking about your body but also about your mind. According to Matt Killingsworth, “47% percent of the time, people are thinking about something other than what they're currently doing.” Quite a lot, isn’t it? For an athlete, being in the moment – also called “being in the zone” – is crucial in terms of performance.
2. Mindfulness is about being aware of what is going on inside you and around you. Self-awareness is your ability to perceive, to feel, to notice your internal state of mind: your feelings, your thoughts, your body sensations, your mind traps, the stressors in your life and what triggers you, your energy levels during the day, your self-sabotaging patterns, your mood, your perceptions, your beliefs, your desires, your blind spots etc.
I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing
By helping you to be aware of and detach yourself from your defeating thoughts, your ruminations, your fears of losing, or in other words all your distractive and energy-killing thoughts, mindfulness will help you to interrupt and release their unconscious grip on you.
3. Your self-awareness depends on your ability to pay attention. That’s why attention training is a key component in a mindfulness program. Here, it is about knowing where your attention is - and how many times we are not aware of where our attention is! -, to choose where your attention needs to be and to maintain it there. In a mindfulness program, you will train different types of attention: open/focused, narrow/wide, outer/inner etc. This is not a big surprise that the benefits of mindfulness on our attention has been scientifically proven. In a sport competition and in life, many other cognitive skills rely on your level of attention, so are your presence and alertness.
While talking to someone, have you ever had the impression that the person is really not listening to you?
Listening… when we deeply think about it, this is maybe one of the most important - and at the same time - difficult skills to perform! And surprisingly, do we really learn how to deeply listen to the other person? To maintain our focus on the other person during the conversation? To really understand what the person is saying, or not saying? To grasp what the purpose of communication is?
Unfortunately, I think that the emphasis is not enough on those aspects of communication, and it can lead to disastrous consequences: from simple misunderstanding to tensions, from marriage failure, weak relationship with our children, to lower productivity at work.
Do you consider yourself as a good listener?
Think about your last conversation with your friend, your colleague or your partner and ask yourself these questions:
With a mindfulness practice, you become able to notice these communication traps and being able to change them into healthier ones: more caring, more compassionate and more connected.
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is about focusing your attention and be aware of what is happening inside you and around you in the present moment, with an attitude of non-judgement and kindness. In other words, like a scientist, you objectively observe yourself, others and the environment, without any evaluation.
And, when it comes to mindful listening (and speaking), it is about bringing more awareness to your conversations. It is giving the other person the attention she deserves, releasing any judgements or preconceptions, removing all distractions that can pop up into your head, carefully choosing your words and reactions for your answer. Simply said, mindful communication is all about connection!
Simply, but not easy… however here is the good news! Mindfulness is a skill, and as a skill it can be learned so you can apply it into your life!
How mindfulness can help?
Here are a few ways of how mindfulness can improve your listening skills:
1. Be aware of your mental chatter
With mindfulness practices, you learn to pay attention to your mental chatter and to come back to the present moment every time you get caught up in your thoughts. During a conversation, I think you agree with me that this is not the right time to think about your groceries list, your next meeting or the conversation you had just before with your child, don’t you? Well, most of the time, this is what is really happening in our mind! Our body is here but our mind is… somewhere else. With a mindfulness practice, you develop this ability to pay attention to what the other person is saying, to detect more and really understand her and what her needs are, to feel how she is feeling, what she really means, but most importantly to notice the clues beyond the words (tone, body language…)! As Peter Drucker used to say, "the most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said”. It can be her beliefs, her compelling desires or something that she is afraid to share or doesn’t express correctly or even something that she is not even aware of herself.
2. Be aware of your judgement and preconceptions
Another core principle of mindfulness is the mindful attitudes that you need to cultivate to be able to be mindful. Non-judgement is one of the most important. When it comes to a conversation, we may not agree with the other person and we may even have our own toxic and distracting judgmental commentaries turning into our head during the conversation: “what an awful haircut!”, “she is really too possessive with her son”, “she should quit her job” or ‘she still doesn’t get it”. Mindfulness teaches you to notice and let go of these judgements, to accept the other person as she is and to listen respectfully and kindly to her. It also cultivates your beginner’s mind or your ability to approach any situations (here a conversation) with fresh eyes and no preconceptions.
3. Be aware of the other person
In mindfulness, you not only learn to bring your attention on what is happening inside you but also AROUND you. In other words, you not only develop your self-awareness, you also enhance your social awareness. It is a way of being in this world where you are not only connected with yourselves but the people around you and your environment. To simplify, we could say that mindfulness can help you be more engaged in the conversation, and more generally into your life.
Mindfulness has been scientifically linked to a better empathy, this ability to put yourself in others’ shoes and listening to the other person from her point of view and not yours. We all have the tendency to understand the other person through our own reality and perceptions. However, our perceptions are limited. And as St Augustine wrote: "Be kind, everyone is carrying a heavy burden." You never know what really happen behind the façade of the person, so “bringing your empathy” into the conversation will help you to understand better the other person and at the end to create a better connection.
This list is not exhaustive. Maybe one last point in conclusion, not the least, would be that mindfulness is also referred to as heartfulness. That means that mindfulness is being aware of your thinking but also of your feelings. It not only engage your mind, it also engages your gut, your body and your heart. There is the quote from King Solomon which said "Give me the gift of a listening heart." “A listening heart”, this is what I wish all of you!
For your next conversation, ask yourself these questions:
Nadege ESTEBAN, Founder and Managing Director at Wise Mind
If you are interested - for yourself or your company - by a Mindfulness programme or a workshop on “mindful communication”, please contact us at: firstname.lastname@example.org
 “When you hear the word mindfulness, it is very important to understand, that in all Asian language, word for mind and for heart are the same word, so when you hear the word mindfulness, you need to hear the word heartfulness, or you misunderstand that it is only simply one cognitive exercise, and it is not.” Jon Kabat-Zinn
There are different assessments that you can use to do that. The one that I refer to in my program is the “Mindful Attention Awareness Scale”[i] developed by Kirk Warren Brown and Richard M. Ryan because it has been scientifically validated. With this tool, you can know your current level of mindfulness.
>>> You can download it here. It takes less than 10 minutes to complete.
Then, you can ask yourself:
[i] Brown, K.W. & Ryan, R.M. (2003). The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, 822-848.
It may feel scary to begin something new, like beginning your life again after a major life change. You may feel stuck and paralyzed, not being able to move.
I know that feeling…
It looks like a huge mountain to climb and a lot of energy to deploy to get there.
What if, instead, you were looking at this huge mountain differently ? not like a misfortune but rather looking at it as the necessary path to really get what you want from life, where obstacles are not really obstacles but important milestones in your journey and golden nuggets of wisdom to continue to move toward your dreams.
What if, instead, you were looking at beginnings as an opportunity to start over a more beautiful and more aligned life ? Holding the belief that « beginnings are magical for all the new possibilities they bring » set your mind differently. It allows you to always see the goods in everything, to grow and to tap into the power of trust.
My dear friends, let the magic of the unknown inspire you to write a more beautiful and joyful chapter of your life.
** Come and discover my new coaching program "A Life by Design":
"A Life by Design" program has been specifically designed for Women and Men who are ready to ...
- start to consciously create the life of their dreams
- take their life to the next level but don't know how to do that
- take full responsibility of their life but don't know where to start and what to do
- reinvent their life after a major life change
- write a new chapter of their life
- fully live their life
You may either feel like you are starting from scratch, or need to begin again because of a recent life change. Whatever is your situation, I can help you to get back on track and create the life you want to live.
After practicing mindfulness for few years, I started to feel a shift within me. I am now able to identify from which place I am operating, whether it is from my head or from my heart or both. I am now able to tell whenever one is ruling the other one. I can now know if what I am saying to myself or someone else in on the heart level or on the mental level or both.
At first, I have been able to identify these 2 different levels with the words I was using... and of course, I became aware of the fact I was mainly saying "I think" instead of "I feel" or asking "what do you think?" instead of "what do you feel?". And I noticed the answers I got were different as well... Depending on the words I used, I was making a different type of connections with myself or others: either a mental connection either a heart connection.
Then, the more I am practicing some body awareness/mindfulness techniques, the more I am now able to feel within my body where I am operating from. When it is from my Heart, I feel a lot of warmth around my Heart area, I feel more vulnerable (and this is scary and exciting at the same time!), and I express more my emotions.
I am now also more aware of the level(s) other people are operating from.
And this is not only knowing from which level(s) I am operating from. This is also about being able to listen to what has to say each level. And here, I don't believe one level is better than the other one. I believe our role is to be able to listen to both of them and to integrate them into our daily choices and actions. For example, when making decisions, integrating rational informations AND emotions. And in some situations, it is about being able to know from which level we are operating, which level would be the best to operating from and to being able to switch to the most adapted level. For example, when it comes to heart-to-heart human connexions.
So ask yourself regularly when making decisions, having conversations with others or with yourself: from which level(s) are you operating? Is this the most adadpted one? If not, how can you switch to the most adapted one?
What are your thoughts?
#Mindfulness #Heartfulness #MindfulnessInspiration
It all started more than 5 years ago when the most extraordinary but challenging thing happened to me… I delivered my first child in Malaysia. I have two young children now and I must admit they have been challenging me a lot till now – constant lack of sleep for 3 years, doubts about my education choices, worries about things that might happen to them, stress and maybe also a bit of depression. I was exhausted and feeling alone as my husband was working abroad at that time. Living more than 12,000 Kilometres from my family and my closest friends was not helpful too. I was negative, reactive and relentlessly complaining about life, my children, others… Eventually living my life on this autopilot mode with no goals.
Thankfully it is at this period of my life I have first encountered the concept of mindfulness. I didn’t know much about it but I felt deeply that it was what I really needed. So I signed up for the 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program (MBSR) and it turned out to be one of the most reflective and life-changing experience in my life!
Firstly, mindfulness has helped me to raise my self-awareness about the way I was living and also my perception towards motherhood:
Secondly, by doing my daily mindfulness practices, I got out from this negative circle I was in very quickly and see life differently. I notice that I am feeling more energized and relaxed. I have learnt to be grateful for what I have and developed the burning desire to do something with my life. Finally, I came to the idea of becoming a mindfulness trainer and coach I am now in hope to inspire as many people as possible to give mindfulness a try and adopt it, like I did.
Thirdly, mindfulness has raised my awareness about the world. It is not only about me now but about the future of my children, grandchildren and the well-being of people as a whole. I realized that the current world is not the world I would hope for the descendants to come. I wish to see a world with more authenticity, compassion, kindness, wisdom, empathy, passion, positive energy, inspiration and peace; and I want to be part of the movement to achieve this, to make the world a better place.
All in all, mindfulness has been the catalyst for me to be more aware, awake and alive! I have grown so much from the inside-out and am more than thankful that it has brought colors into my life.
This is why I believe in the power of mindfulness – to wake people up, enable them live to the fullest (as it did for me) and ultimately build a better society we want for our children and grandchildren to come.
I will continue to embrace my life with mindfulness and pursue any chances to be able to inspire and empower others to do the same. Will you?
On Monday, I shared with you a personal story on how mindfulness has helped me to change my old and biaised perception of my hometown...
Today, I would like to share with you one mindfulness practice that you can do to train your ability to mindfully see.
You can for example go to the museum and:
* set your intention to stay in front of a piece of art for 10 minutes
* really takes the time to see it with a scientific mind: not judging just observing with curiosity, openness and with fresh eyes (“beginner’s mind”)
* feel it
* observe each details: the texture, the colors, the shades, etc...
* notice the thoughts, body sensations and feelings that arise during your practice and to bring back your attention to your piece of art
In fact, you can even do this practice with a daily object like a chair, a picture, or a flower in your garden or park.
Give it a try and please share below your comments on this practice... ;)
"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." Confucius
Recently, I have been reminded of this quote. As I was going back to my hometown in France after 7 years in Malaysia, I realized how my perception has changed.
As you know, I like to use my daily walk for my mindfulness practices. And as I was walking down the streets of my village really focusing on the old buildings and houses, the gardens, the nature etc and using my beginner's mind, I have been suddenly stroke by the fact that until that day I was not really seeing my hometown village as it really is but as I used to see it as a teenager and even as others were - and still is - seeing it.
In other words, an old village that is not really fun, not lively and boring because far from the city where you can go to the cinema, the big swimming pool and other attractions.
However thanks to my mindfulness practice, I have been able to notice my biaised perception based on the past and even others' opinions, and to finally appreciate the beauty of my hometown and its old buildings. From that time I really enjoyed my mindful walks and was discovering lots of new details everyday.
Yes, we are so overflooded by numerous visual stimuli that finally we don't even take the time to REALLY (I mean REALLY!) observe what is in front of us.
To be really able to mindfully see, it requires you to be aware of what you regularly pay attention to (maybe they are not the most important), and to make the effort when you look to someone or something to notice each details you can.
I will come back this week with a practice that you can do to be able to do that.
Meanwhile, please share below if you get a similar experience...
Following my posts on the mindful gap, there is another easy thing you can easily do: BREATHE! The good thing is, it is always with you!
Take few deep, slow and mindful breaths in and out. It will calm yourself and bring you back to the here and now, away from your thoughts that may be exaggerating the situation.
Ex: My son who is screaming.... if I am not aware of the thoughts that arise at that time (like" oh no he is screaming again", "I told him already many times", "he never listens to me", and so on...), it may have a negative influence on yourself (your emotional and physical states for example) and on how you behave in this situation.
Whereas, by mindfully breathing, you become aware of and stop the negative spiral of thoughts right from the beginning and not behave accordingly to your exaggerating thoughts.
Whenever I catch myself being about to react to something or someone, I ask myself: "What would Love do?"
On Monday, I talked about the mindful gap that appears when you practice mindfulness. And this is this tiny gap that offers you huge amount of possibilities and choices.
What I like to do during this mindful gap is to ask myself a powerful question. One of my student told me the other day "quality of answer will depend on the quality of the question'. So true...
And the question I use for myself is "What would Love do?"
Ex: I am experiencing some anger as my son is "again" screaming very loudly in the house.... "What would Love do?"
Someone says something unkind to me... "What would Love do?"
Afraid to talk to that person... "What would Love do?"
and so on...
Just with this question, I am reminded of what is really important to me in any circonstances: my role in teaching my kids to talk softly (and not asking them not to scream by screaming on them!), the fact that I may have misunderstood what the person told me, and that FEAR means nothing else than False Evidence Appearing Real.
So, Whenever you catch yourself being about to react to something or someone, ask yourself the right question.
And you what is the favorite question you like to ask yourself before responding?
Please share below ;)
Picture from Lewis Howes
Regularly tune in and ask yourself: how is my mind right now? how am I feeling?
This is what mindfulness helps you to cultivate: your awareness of your own emotional, physical & mentally state.
And for me, it has helped me tremendously! I am not reacting to whatever happens in my life... I am now able to choose how to respond skillfully and with more compassion. When you practice mindfulness there is a tiny gap that is creating between any stimulus and your response, and this is where choices and opportunities are!
Hi ! I'm Nadege Esteban. As a Mindfulness Trainer and Coach, I promote mindfulness as a way of living and working… and I gave myself this personal mission: to inspire as much as possible people to give mindfulness a try and hopefully to adopt it in their daily life.
© 2017. Wise Mind. All rights reserved.
"Success isn't just about what you accomplish in your life,
it's about what you inspire others to do"